Distant Lover

To far apart to bridge the difference but something keeps us hanging on and on. Pretending not know the difference. Denying what we had is gone, every moment were together. It's breaking me down. I know we swore it was forever but it hurts too much to stay around. We were as one for a moment in time and it seemed everlasting that you would always be mine. You will always be a part of indefinitely, and we'll linger on. Time can't erase feeling this strong. You and I will always be.


You wanted to feel loved so I loved you. I wanted to be in love so you loved me. You didn't understand why it had been so hard for me to enunciate such a simple four letter word. You held my face, looked into my eyes, and told me never to shy away. I watched my tear tread down my honey kissed face and trickle on to your rough riveted calloused hands. You caught my tear with the single stroke of your index. Your piercing blues wouldn't allow my sultry browns to hide. There was nowhere for me to run but into your arms. Brushing off your sweet embrace was a sin. As you caressed my face I pillowed my cheek into your palm. We were unified into one pulsating beat slow and steady. My heartbeat came to life and the scent of lust filled the air. I opened my eyes and there you were starring at me with such openness. Ready to comfort, console,and conquer your territory. We caught each other's glance and it was there that words were unnecessary for me to voice why it had been so difficult for me to L O V E. You were so confident and eager to take flight. I vowed to follow your direction as long as you would lead.I handed over all of me right then and there. If you didn't know then at least know you know.

Long after you broke my heart and I forgave. You never saw nor did you hear my long nights of tear soaked love notes I confessed to you in the dark. It was not right but it was ok. My heart beat alone and too a much slower beat. I tried to mend but my heart could not hold true to it's shape. I watched myself morph into an unfamiliar image of what appeared to be a broken girl. I was alone, weak, and discontent. I was walking with my echo and talking with my shadow in replacement of you. You were busy and I felt wrong to intrude. I gave you space and loved you from a distance. If I am not mistaken my sickened state was the opposite of your prime intentions.

Reawakening followed. We refreshed ourselves and reconditioned for a new start. Our passion never failed us as we continued to be fueled and empowered by our love. It wore of a lot sooner than either one of us expected. Back at it again our cycle turned for the worse. I wrote some more and cried even more than before. I still felt your loving presence but it wasn't enough for me to stay. I didn't want your attention anymore so I blindly let you go. We finally reached the unthinkable state. Like Romeo and Juliet we found it impossible to move on without one another. A familiar excerpt comes to mind , " people so seldom say I love you and it's either to late or love goes. So when I tell you I love you it doesn't mean I know you'll never go only that I wish you didn't have to." What is righteous in the beginning will always be righteous in the end. One day you will hold my face in your palms and by then it will be forever. That my love is the very reason I L O V E.